Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
