I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
