the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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