At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
be right there i have to get my cape
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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