I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
