i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You ruined the universe
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize