i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
