Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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