so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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