watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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