Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
