i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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