I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
