her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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