I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
