what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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