He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
