Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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