He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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