Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
