I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
