Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
