YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
