I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
