Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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