you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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