Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
