I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
