dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am midnight drunk by noon
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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