oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
