and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
