Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
