i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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