Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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