just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
