who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
