You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
