escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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