I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
