have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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