you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
