I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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