You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
