her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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