Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
