that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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