Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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