i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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