I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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