I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My dad just said "fuck circus"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
